I've found 'the thing'.
Everyone told me it would happen and I didn't quite believe them: that there would be a theory or branch of thinking that would serve as a framework for my thesis, and that I would find it at some point along the way.
I remember being on a university 'Away Day' during my first or second year where we all had to identify the organising principle of our work, by way of an ice-breaker. I was so far out of my depth that I couldn't even see any ice to break, and I haven't been back to an away day since.
For my supervisors it was dialogics and hermaneutics. I tried those, hopefully, and they didn't fit.
But this weekend, I found the thing that did fit.
It was a huge penny-drop, lightbulb-on moment where suddenly everything makes more sense and previously unanswerable questions can be reframed and addressed.
It happened after the third revision of my data chapters (which I believe to be quite late in the process!) when feedback from my supervisors pointed me in the direction of two particular articles. It turned out that I had independently reached conclusions that other had found before me. I was struggling to articulate them and suddenly found that I had a language to do it.
What's more, in true 'Eureka' fashion, it happened in the bath. Unlike Archimedes I didn't start running through the streets though. I had to call for a pen and paper to scribble on. I tried at first to dictate but my thoughts were crowded and my husband impatient, so instead I scrawled on soggy, disintegrating pages (I was half way through washing my hair so there was much dripping) and in the cold light of day this morning, they still make some sort of sense.
The relief is overwhelming. A weight truly has been lifted, and now I need to go and pull my weight to get this thing finished. So excuse me while I get back to the thesis and try and unravel some of it.
And the thing? It's very simple, and it's actually been there all the way along, I just didn't take any notice of it. More to come!
